YOU ARE MORE THAN THE PARTS YOU CRITICIZE

Written By Susan Beth Breuner

Most women do not struggle to find flaws.

In fact, most women can identify them almost instantly.

A beautiful brunet woman with flowing hair and black lingerie looking into the camera with a slight smile. The background is dark, and she dramatically fades into it.

You know the part of your body you wish was smaller. The place you believe should be smoother. The line you wish had never appeared. The softness you think you are supposed to hide.

For many women, this way of seeing themselves has become automatic.

You walk past a mirror and immediately zoom in.

You look at photographs and focus only on what you dislike.

You judge yourself in pieces.

Beauty Is Found in the Whole Picture

But beauty is rarely found in isolated details.

Beauty is found in the whole.

A woman laying with her head towards the camera and her eyelashes are in sharp focus, while her lace lingerie clad body is blurred in the distance.
A woman laying on a bed with an iron headboard in the background. Her head is over the edge of the foot of the bed, hair flowing down. Her finger is trailing between her breasts, which are clothed in a black lace bra.
A woman with her hand on her chest and neck as she lays back with her eyes closed. Her lingerie clad body is just out of focus filling the background of the image, while her long eyelashes and peaceful face are sharply in focus.

It is found in the way your eyes soften when you laugh.

It is found in the way your face changes when you feel safe.

It is found in your posture when you stop apologizing for taking up space.

It is found in the way your body curves and moves and carries you through your life.

It is found in your expression, your energy, your presence.

When you begin to see your own beauty, you stop looking at yourself as a collection of separate parts and begin to see the complete picture of who you are.

You would never speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself.

If your closest friend stood in front of you and pointed out every flaw she could find, you would not agree with her. You would see so much more than that.

A beautiful woman wearing white lace sitting in a vintage chair with a black background. Her white lingerie pops in contrast in this black and white image.

You would notice the warmth in her smile.

The kindness in her eyes.

The strength in the way she carries herself.

The beauty that exists in the complete picture of who she is.

And yet, when it comes to ourselves, we so often refuse to see that same fullness.

Why It Feels So Hard to See Your Own Beauty

You reduce yourself down to details.

You convince yourself that if one part is not perfect, then the whole cannot be beautiful.

But that is not true.

One detail does not define you.

One insecurity does not erase your beauty.

One scar, one line, one stretch mark, one area you wish looked different does not change the fact that you are already worthy of being seen.

A black and white image of a dark haired woman with her robe falling off her shoulders and a delicately decorated hat covering her chest.

The harder part is that seeing yourself differently is not passive.

It is not simply about giving yourself permission.

Permission is passive.

You can have permission and still never act on it.

You can tell yourself it would be okay to see your own beauty and still continue to avoid it.

Choosing is different.

Choosing is active.

Choosing means deciding that you are willing to see yourself in a new way.

A woman in a white pleated short nighty, playing with a set of pearls in front of her and quietly smiling at the camera.

It means deciding that you are willing to stop picking yourself apart long enough to see the complete picture.

It means allowing yourself to believe that your beauty may have been there all along, even if you have spent years overlooking it.

That kind of choice can feel uncomfortable.

For some women, it even feels vulnerable.

Because if you have spent years believing that criticism keeps you safe, then softness can feel risky.

If you have spent years thinking that tearing yourself down is what keeps you humble, then self-acceptance can feel unfamiliar.

Choosing to See Your Own Beauty

But there is nothing arrogant about seeing yourself clearly.

There is nothing selfish about believing that you are beautiful.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to stop treating yourself like a problem that needs to be fixed.

a woman in a bright embrodered sheer robe moving with grace through layers of white pleated curtains. She is caught mid-movement, appearing happy and peaceful. Beautiful!
A woman swirling her layers of lace and pleats as she moves freely between the layers of white curtains. She is smiling and happy, caught mid-movement.
A woman looking into the camera as she stands in front of a window with white sheer curtains. She's wearing a brightly embrodered sheer robe over a pleated nightgown.

At Strong Confident Femininity, that is what these sessions are really about.

Of course the photographs matter.

Of course it matters to create images that are beautiful, artful, and deeply personal.

But underneath all of that is something even more important.

It is the experience of seeing yourself as a whole woman.

Not a collection of flaws.

Not a list of insecurities.

Not the body part you have spent years criticizing.

But the complete picture.

Strong.

Soft.

Feminine.

Beautiful.

Already worthy.

Sometimes the most powerful thing a woman can do is choose to see your own beauty with the same softness, grace, and admiration that everyone else already does.


Strong Confident Femininity
Artful, intimate photography in Bozeman that celebrates real women, real stories, and the beauty of being seen.

Susan Beth Breuner
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INTIMATE PHOTOGRAPHY: RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF