6 BOUDOIR SAFEY TIPS
A boudoir experience is an opportunity for a woman to celebrate herself in the most personal and intimate of ways. It can be one of the most empowering and uplifting events of her life with a long-term positive impact on all aspects of her personality and emotions.
But to achieve all of those benefits, it is very important that every woman make sure that the boudoir opportunity she engages in provides her with a safe experience that does not exploit her in any way.
Working with many women, I have heard stories that break my heart about models and clients who felt exploited, abused and threatened by some of their prior boudoir experiences.
With this blog post I want to empower you to protect yourself! So, here are 6 steps you can take to ensure you are with a boudoir photographer you can trust and be confident about.
1. Meet the photographer in person or speak with them on the phone.
Most of us do not want to be scantily clad in front of a total stranger – nor should we. Meet with your photographer – preferably in person, but understand that on a rare occasion it needs to happen over the phone or Zoom. Ask questions, get a sense for them, and spend a little time learning their genuine vibe.
Ask your self if you feel comfortable with this person? Do they trigger any red flags? Then, trust your intuition if something doesn’t feel right, even if you can’t name it. There are plenty of great boudoir photographers out there, you should not use one that makes you nervous about their intentions or trustworthiness.
2. Ask around/Read reviews.
If you have a friend who had a positive experience with a boudoir session, ask them what made it so positive for them and find out which photographer she used!
Read Google reviews online for the photographer that you’re considering. Ask around about them. Maybe your friend hasn’t used them for a session, but knows someone who did.
Ask the photographer if they have any clients who would be willing to talk to you personally about what it was like to be photographed by them. I have several women I could connect you up with if you wanted to hear from a client’s perspective what a session is like.
3. Look at their portfolio of work.
Then ask yourself some questions:
Does it reflect the style of images you are comfortable making?
Are they more risqué than you are comfortable producing?
Do their images have a consistency that confirms they took all of those images so you know they are a true professional photographer? (This is important because you want to be certain you are working with someone who has put time into their photography practice, and isn’t just grabbing a camera as an excuse to get you alone in a room.)
4. Ask if you can bring a friend with you.
Speaking of getting you alone in a room, one thing to ask is if it is okay for you to bring someone. The fact is, you may not want someone there, but knowing that the photographer would be open to that is sign that they are not looking to isolate you so they can take advantage of you.
Now, let me qualify that by saying some photographers, including me, have restrictions about who can or cannot be present during your shoot. I do not let anyone be there that you do not approve – since my studio is in my home I make all the others who live there leave the property before you get there and not come back until your session is complete and you have left.
I also don’t allow your significant other to be there unless you are doing a couple’s session. It just get’s a bit uncomfortable if we are feeling like the session is a stimulation for someone – and I don’t do that kind of photography.
But I do allow you to bring a support person if you want – I ask that it be someone you know will not be critiquing you or your look, but instead will be saying only positive things and stay quiet relative to the directions I am giving you. The last thing you need is to have your confidence undermined by someone who does not know the craft of boudoir photography and second guesses what we are doing together. However, you are welcome to have a friend come along, and often it can be a fun thing to make you feel more comfortable.
5. Do a little recon on the session location.
Where will the session take place? In a studio? The photographer’s home? In your home? How do you feel about that? Do you feel safe in that space? Ask to visit the location – I would love to have you out to see the studio before your session, and be sure you know how to get here.
And always tell someone where you will be and what time you expect to be done.
6. Get a contract that lays out expectations of importance to you and your photographer.
One of the ways to be sure you feel safe about a boudoir session is to know what can and/or will happen with your images, when you will get your images, how you get them printed, and any important expectations you might have.
While you may not mind if some of your images are shared by your photographer, you do want to know that you have some control of that process.
At Strong Confident Femininity, you are given the opportunity to hold back all of your images from being shared, or to select a few you are comfortable with sharing, or even to give me full discretion on their use if you want. But the point is, it is your choice! That allows you to feel comfortable and not be concerned about your images popping up publicly when you were not expecting that.
There is no need to be afraid during a boudoir session – a few nerves because you care about how things are going to turn out is normal, but actual fear is not something you should be feeling.
