My Big Rebellion | Reasons I Protected Her Boudoir Experience.

I knew I was going to feel awkward and a bit out of place as I went to my first WPPI conference. It was an all new experience for me, but I couldn’t resist the brand new offering of a 2-day Boudoir Summit with some educators I have admired from a far for years.

What I didn’t expect was to be a rebel as I stood for the principles I’ve built Strong Confident Femininity to represent when it comes to the boudoir experience.

A Little Bit of Context to Understand My Rebellion

The Boudoir Summit lectures and demonstrations on day one were absolutely amazing, encouraging, and affirming of many of the ideas and principles I put into action in my studio I was also challenged and inspiration to go deeper with some of those ideas and principles. After a day full of great information and even some very fun entertainment, I was excited for day 2 when as an attendee, I would get to use my camera for the first time in this educational setting.

The setting for the “shooting day” was a beautiful private 6 bedroom suite at a Las Vegas Resort/Hotel. There were 6 models in total, and I think about 80 photographers (but that is just my estimate, I never actually counted).

I knew it was going to be round robin as far as photographers taking turns with the models. But, what I didn’t really know how to process was that we would have 2 minutes with each model, and then move on to get back in line for that same model, or one of the other models. In all honestly, this went against everything I do, because it was so rushed.

I determined I was going to make the most of it and not worry about the pressure - just do my thing the way I know works best for me.

That is where the rebellion began.

Personalizing the boudoir experience - my big rebellion.

I just couldn’t believe we were expected to create very intimate images with models who we had never interacted with before. I’m so used to investing time into the women in front of my camera before they strip down to their intimate clothing and begin to take direction from me. Obviously, with only 2 minutes, this was going to require me to adjust.

All day I watched photographers head into the shooting spaces and immediately start to pose the models - without any introduction. I noticed that in conversations outside of the shooting rooms the models were referred to by the color of their wardrobe, the theme of the room they were modeling in, or even the size of their body or color of their skin. Only a few photographers referred to them by their actual name.

I quickly decided I needed to at least introduce myself, and ask the model how she was doing/feeling the first time I worked with her. It would take some of my 2 minutes to do that, but I figured I’d get better images if I could make them feel seen by me as a person and not just the subject of an image I wanted to create. After all, these women were all participants in the boudoir experience that was happening.

There is a lot you can learn from a quick introduction, eye contact, and a handshake. And a lot I could communicate to them through that process.

With each model, the surprise at my approach the first time I entered their shooting space was immediate. But it also resulted in genuine smiles and twinkles in their eyes. My rebellion worked the way I wanted it to.

Then, I learned it was one of the models first every boudoir experience!

Late in the day, one of the volunteers monitoring the line for a beautiful young model named Bailey share with me that this beautiful young college student had never before been photographed in the boudoir genre.

I was shocked!

It hit like a ton of bricks. To have 80 photographers jumping in and out of her space, asking her to do thing to express sensuality and be sexy, telling her exactly how to place her hands, arch her back, stand, sit or recline must have been so overwhelming. And throw into that the facts that a good number of the photographers were male, and she had never met any of us before, my imagination went wild.

I had already captured her once before I learned this. And yes, I had taken the time to introduce myself and shake her hand. But, now I was determined to do something more to personalize her experience.

So, when my next turn with her came up, I paused my camera, looked her in the eye, quietly acknowledged that this was her first time, and told her how brave I felt she was. Then, I acknowledging how vulnerable of an experience this must be for her, and I asked if we could tap into those feelings. I suggested she take this couple minutes to get into a comfortable position for her, and pose in a way that expressed her vulnerability while providing her with some protection and boudaries with respect to that vulnerability. I was asking her to contribute to posing in a way that gave her the power.

The results are the images you see in this blog post.

I don’t want to suggest this woman was victimized - after all, she signed up for this assignment. And I don’t want to suggest that all of the other photographers are terrible people. Frankly, I think they were set up to perform in a system that was insensitive to the personal connection needed to capture truly empowering boudoir experiences. And I know that the purpose of this day was to give photographers an experience with boudoir, not to provide the models with a high end boudoir experience.

I know that good boudoir experiences include beautiful images. I know that beautiful images are what sell bigger albums and wall art. And I know that we photographers are making a living with what we do so bigger sales are desired. And when educating boudoir photographers these elements cannot be left out.

However, it is my rebellious belief that the experience of being photographed in a respectful, self-expressive and authentic manner is the highest value service we boudoir photographers have to offer.

Ignoring the way the process of capturing the beautiful images makes a woman feel is a complete disservice to the entire process and the entire genre. This is true even when the purpose of capturing images is to help train photographers.

What are we training them for if we do not include the experience of the woman being photographed as the all important element of the session? To objectify? To pander to the “Male Gaze?” To believe that empowerment comes from the admiration of others rather than the internal and external experiences and emotions they have during the boudoir experience?

I’m content being a rebel who says no to those messages.

I’m happy and very determined to be the photographer who wants the woman in front of my camera to feel seen in a way that acknowledges her worth, her emotions, her strengths and her vulnerabilities. Even when the purpose of the session is to be a learning process for me. It may be a woman’s job to model - an hard working and honorable profession in my opinion. But the fact that she is in that job does not take away the need to treat her as the beautiful, worthy, powerful and valuable person she is.