HELP! I’M NERVEOUS ABOUT BOUDOIR

I hear it frequently – women’s number one reason for not doing a boudoir photo session is “I’m too nervous!”

Being nervous about doing a bouoir session is common to most women who want to give it a try.

Why are women nervous about doing boudoir - well, you might be able to accurately guess, but here are some of the words they share with me on this subject:

• What if I’m not good at this and the images are not what I was hoping for?

• I don’t know how to pose for boudoir photography.

• My body is not good enough for a successful boudoir session.

• I don’t have the physical grace to look good in images.

• My friends and family will judge me for doing a boudoir session.

  • Judge me for being self-focused/self-absorbed, as evidenced by the fact that I want a photo session focused on me.

  • Judge me for being too “slutty” because I did a session that showed some skin.

  • Judge me for being too overweight or out of shape.

  • Judge me for not having classic feminine curves.

  • Judge me for breaching someone’s definition of “morality norms.”

• What would I ever do with the Images? I can’t really display them in my home, can I?

• As weird as it sounds, fear of being vulnerable with myself about my body issues.

• I will compare myself to professional models and not like what I see.

• It sounds super uncomfortable to walk around in my undies outside of the privacy of my home.

If you are nervous about doing boudoir for any of these reasons, or any other reason, I’ve got great news for you!

You are not alone!

BEING NERVOUS ABOUT DOING BOUDOIR IS NORMAL!

Here’s the point where I could spend a whole lot of words trying to convince you that the things you are nervous about aren’t going to happen and not reasonable things to be nervous about. But you know what, if you feel nervous, you feel nervous, and those are your legitimate feelings.

So, I’d rather spend my words helping you calm your nerves instead of telling you they are somehow illegitimate.

Here we go – these are the things that I find help to calm the pre-boudoir session nerves. Implement them as you go and see if they help!

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS:

I have a whole blog post about using positive affirmations here.

It has some general information about their use, so below is some specific to the nerves that come with scheduling a boudoir session.

Here are my top 5 affirmations for women who want to do a boudoir session but are so nervous about being worthy or not comfortable with the required vulnerability that they never actually schedule it:

·        I’m grateful that my body lets me experience life!

·        My challenges are opportunities for growth and improvement.

·        I am worthy just as I am.

·        There is no reason for me to compare myself to others.

Using these affirmations daily both before and after you book  your session will help you become more comfortable with stepping out in this specific way. 

FOCUS ON THE PREPARATIONS STEPS IN THE BOUDOIR PREP GUIDE:

After you book your session, I will send you a guide of things to do as you prepare for your session. Not only do the preparation tasks help you to look and feel your best in your session, they also give you things to do.

Doing those tasks helps you to feel like you are in control of some of the details – because you are. And feeling in control helps to reduce your nervousness about doing a boudoir session.

These tasks also give you a place to put your nervous energy to good use rather than sitting stewing about whatever is worrying you.

PLAN YOUR OUTFITS:

This can be a lot of fun! And it can ease some of your nervous feelings to see what is available to wear for your session.

Start with a Pinterest board of outfits you think you would like to wear. Then, check out your closet for anything that fits the profile you created on Pinterest.

After that, check out my studio wardrobe – are there things in there that fit your profile.

And, then, when you know what is available to you for free, do a little shopping to fill in the holes in your hopes for your boudoir wardrobe.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF:

Do the things you know you should – get enough sleep, eat well, stay away from people who aren’t supportive of you being the best you can be.

SCHEDULE IN SOME PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES:

From yoga classes to going for a run or any other way to move your body, the impact of exercise is to decrease overall anxiety. Exercise is a proven stress reducer, and nerves over an upcoming event are a form of temporary stressor that are well served by this type of stress reduction.

Essentially, exercise is a great way to help your biochemistry work in your favor for settling your nerves.

REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU WANT TO DO A BOUDOIR SESSION

It might sound like busy work, but taking the time to make a list of the reasons you want to do a boudoir session is an amazing way reduce your nerves.

Then, take those reasons and put them on little sticky notes that can be placed in strategic places around your life to remind you of your goals and anticipated rewards! Suggestions include: on the dashboard of your car, inside your drinking glass cupboard so you see it frequently, on the bathroom mirror, in your lingerie drawer, and in your wallet.

FINALLY, DO A LITTLE PAMPERING OF YOURSELF!

Take the time to get a massage, pedicure, have an excellent meal, and all around pamper yourself. You are worth it, and so many pampering activities are very relaxing.  Here is a list of things you can DIY if you are thinking that is best for you:

·        Foot soak and exfoliation

·        A miriade of facial masks – make sure you choose a recipe that is specific for your particular skin type.

·        Long hot soak in an aromatic bubble bath – throw in some flower petals for an extra special feel to it.

·        Speaking of flowers, buy yourself a bouquet from a local florist.

·        Light some beautiful candles (combine that with your bathtub experience)

DON’T JUST WAIT FOR THOSE “NERVOUS ABOUT BOUDOIR” FEELINGS TO GO

The fact of the matter is there will probably be some nervousness throughout the process. It just doesn’t have to be crippling nerves that keep you from fulfilling a dream and finding joy in the process of your boudoir session. If you want to talk more about it, please reach out and let’s do a no-obligation discovery meeting over a good cup of coffee. You just have to click this little button and it will take you right to where we set that up.

ABOUT STRONG CONFIDENT FEMININITY:

Susan Beth of Strong Confident Femininity, is a boudoir photographer with a unique perspective. She photographs you how you want to be seen, instead of how you think your partner or anyone else wants to see you. Because that’s the way you will feel best about your images and yourself. She celebrates the uniqueness and intimate beauty of your strong confident femininity with flattering, classy, tasteful, and stunning boudoir photographs.