THREE STORIES OF STRONG WOMEN – AND WHAT THEY HAVE IN COMMON
You probably already knew I like the idea of strong women – its in the name of my business after all! But what does it mean to be a strong woman? Really, what are the characteristics of strong women?
Woman wearing flowing transparent black skirt, dancing in Strong Confident Femininity’s Bozeman Boudoir Studio
I’ve got three short stories to tell you – two clients (anonymously, so the images in this post are not of those women) and my grandma. These stories highlight women of strength. When you’ve read them, you might be inspired, but you might also be puzzled by what made them strong. I’ll give my take on the “what made them strong?” question at the end.
CLIENT ONE – Let’s call her Greta.
Greta was one of the first women to ever reach out to me as a boudoir photographer. I’m not sure how she found me. But, we got together in the usual way for her in-person consultation, over a cup of coffee.
She explained that she had a lot of anxiety in her life that was at times crippling for her. She said she was a student at MSU in a creative subject but taking her studies slow and steady because of her anxiety.
Then, Greta told me of several situations of abuse in her past, one of which was perpetrated by a male boudoir photographer when she was modeling for him.
She expressed that she wanted my particular style of boudoir photography so that it would be empowering and uplifting to her in spite of her past experiences. She wanted to reclaim her sense of safety and power. She had something to prove to herself and to the world with this boudoir adventure.
Greta also said that she needed some time to be ready for her session, but she wanted to put a chunk of money down to assure me she was serious about doing this. I think that chunk of money was also an assurance to herself that she would indeed do what she told herself she would.
It did take Greta some time – well over a year. But when she did her session, she decided to do it as a Strong Confident Femininity Outdoor Boudoir Adventure. We met several times through that year to answer questions, encourage her and to cast just the right vision for her.
On the day of her session Greta arrived with some amazing outfits from Suelto Boutique here in Bozeman. She also borrowed a few flowy pieces from the Strong Confident Femininity wardrobe. And we walked up the mountain together with some fear and trepidation as well as excitement for what was to come.
Let me tell you, she rocked her session! The images are some of my absolute favorites! And she was brilliant in the dramatic sunset that evening.
We stayed in touch as she took her time selecting images for her album. And repeatedly she told me how empowering the experience was, and how empowering it was to have images that remind her of what she accomplished and who she is. Even over a year later, when I captured images of her in her MSU graduation regalia, she told me how empowering her Strong Confident Femininity session was to her.
The thing I always think of with Greta is how amazingly strong she was to return to a boudoir session after having an absolutely terrible experience that changed her life.
CLIENT TWO – Let’s call her Amanda
I have known Amanda for years but never spent a lot of time with her really getting to know her well. She is a professional women, with degrees and certifications in an area of life that absolutely intimidates me. In all aspects of life that I had previously interacted with her, she came off as an empowered extrovert who knew exactly what she wanted. Like me, she is in her mid-to-late-fifties, and a very accomplished and confident woman in so many ways.
Except, Amanda has never felt great about or given a lot of attention to her appearance. Sort of.
You see, she had a momma who always told her she wasn’t pretty enough and had no fashion sense. So she grew up feeling inadequate in that area.
During her in-person consultation, and made it clear she would really relied on my guidance and that of Sheri at Suelto for her wardrobe choices. (In case you haven’t noticed, Suelto in Bozeman is a great resource for my clients!) She wanted our guidance because she had no confidence in her own ability to present herself in a way that is beautiful.
Using her tools for help, she showed up at the studio with some amazing outfits! And we got some nabsolutely stunning images of her through that session!
When we sat down and did her reveal session, Amanda giggled and joked the whole way through. But when we were done, images for her album picked and everything arranged, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and thanked me because these were the first images of her life where she felt beautiful.
Now, here’s the extraordinary part: A few days later she texted me and added a print to her order for her mom. A scantily clad image at that.
Amanda had shown her mom her gallery, and her mom loved the images, saw her beauty, and praised her for it – first time in over 55 years.
And then, Amanda sent me her friend to do a session, and her friend told me that when the two of them looked at Amanda’s images together, they both got teary because they were so moved by them.
Can you imagine setting out to do something well, when your own mom has told you your whole life that you were no good at it? That is courage and strength!
MY GRANDMA – No, she was not one of my clients!
My grandma should have a movie made about her or been a Country Music star, except she couldn’t carry a tune if you gave it to her in a bucket.
Married at 15 to a man 7 years older than her and pregnant before they got married. Honestly, that situation is criminal in most states these days.
Three children by the time she was 19.
No high school diploma until she was in her late 50’s.
She took in her nieces and nephews when their parents could not care for them.
She worked to support the family when her husband’s mental and physical health issues kept him out of the workplace for extended periods of time.
She taught Junior High Sunday School for decades! Now there is a task not for the faint at heart!
But she was soft spoken, relatively uneducated, and mostly lived a subsistence existence.
She lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment near the railroad tracks for decades.
Not sure that is the picture of strength you typically think of in women.
Let me tell you, she was a powerfully strong woman – she survived, she made do, she learned skills needed to make a living, she raised three high functioning children, and she loved well.
And she was not angry, harsh, or depressed. In fact, she was most often smiling! I would generally describe her as joyful.
Each of the women in my stories above are strong women.
So, what do these stories tell us about strong women?
Strong women are not universally successful in the ways that count in our culture.
Strong women are sometimes victims of the evil of others.
Strong women do not automatically avoid poverty, anxiety, shame, or feelings of inadequacy.
Strong women do not look like the heroine of the latest Marvel movies, beating people up, exacting revenge, saving the world.
Strong women look like you and me. They have challenges, set-backs, weaknesses, anxieties and dare I say it, “Issues.”
But they also have grit.
The grit to keep going.
The grit to keep trying.
The grit to make a commitment to themselves as Greta and Amanda did.
The grit to find joy despite their less-than-ideal circumstances in some area of their lives.
Does a Strong Confident Femininity experience make a woman strong?
The truth is women already have their strength even if they don’t recognize it. But the experience does make them stronger in areas they wanted to work on developing strength – over coming fear and seeing the beauty in themselves are just two examples of that.
Most importantly, the experience helps them see what their strength can do for them.
It gives them confidence in their strength as well as in their femininity.
So, how do you claim, recognize or flex your strength? One suggestion I have is to celebrate what you already know is strong about you.
And how do I suggest you celebrate? You guessed it, slay a Strong Confident Femininity session for youself. Click the button and you’ll get a free no obligation consultation to see if this is a way you want to celebrate you.